twitching eye

10 Jun

No, this post has nothing to do with my own personal eye twitching. It’s a sarcastic reaction to my beloved Scooby who uses his vocal chords (since his own twitching eyes have pretty much ceased working, as well as a large amount of his hearing) to get what he wants. Right now I want to sit in front of the computer to surf and type mindlessly while my children feed each other Captain Crunch (for dinner) and cold chicken nuggets. Hey, at least they can fend for themselves – why can’t he? So here is a sample of what I’m listening to in lieu of tranquilité.

(p.s. – notice how his tail only wags when he barks…)

Thus, “He who barks the loudest…wins.”

A synopsis of Scooby

After 13 years I {deal, deAl, DEaL} with a dog who a) lost one eye due to his interference with a cat, b) lost partial use of his tail-wagging abilities due to his “run-in” with a gang of coyotes, c) lost a large majority of his hearing due to age.

For the weak-hearted and weak-stomach(ed), please turn away now because I shall tell you that in addition to his infirmities, he’s managed to:

  1. drag a dead fawn up the 1000 ft driveway, through the doggy door and onto the carpeted living room floor.
  2. drag a dead fawn {in addition to the former} up the 1000 ft driveway, placing it in next to the main door but conspicuously à gauche de “company” car {knowing full well that there was human owner’s company as his audience}.
  3. snap the neck of a baby kitten while his {Scooby’s} female owner howled, wailed and screamed at him to stop which he promptly did upon death {not Scooby’s-which seemed desperately imminent at the time}.
  4. drag assorted squirrels, chipmunks, field mice, bunnies, birds, possums, SKUNKS {whole, not whole, alive, half alive} through the doggy door, sometimes to the aforementioned carpeted living room floor, sometimes into our bed.

Shall I continue?

Should I write about something sweet next?

Advertisements

One Response to “twitching eye”

  1. Amy June 11, 2010 at 1:51 am #

    Oh my, oh my. And for such a little fella. I thought my dogs had antics, but my city dogs just chase squirrels. And, um, bees. Yeah, around here we’ve had some bee stings. Ooh…

    (Of course, I remember when we were kids one of the cats had a habit of decapitating bunny litters and dragging them into the living room as “gifts”.)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: